by Angela Smith | Apr 1, 2019 | Introspective
Last week I posted about giving up on your dreams. This week, I wanted to talk some about fear and resistance.
Because fear and resistance can seem like standing in the middle of a black hole with nothing but the universe staring back at you.
If your dream points you toward the image of where you want to be when you’re 80 (thank you, Lara Casey, to pointing me to this), but you aren’t making progressive steps forward, why not?
Fear? Resistance? I’ve lived with those both myself. Sometimes enough to believe I really didn’t want that dream in the first place.
Oh man, battling fear and resistance is the worse. Steven Pressfield talked about it in his novel, WAR OF ART and blogs about it now.
How many people have actually given up because of this?
From my experience, I know the resistance one can face when it comes to their creativity and sharing their creativity with others. Some people really do just get lucky, in my opinion, but some people are just really good at it. And times have changed so much. Some people embrace social media, some people not so much.
I’m one of those not so much people. Live video? Forget it!
Don’t give me wrong. I love a lot of aspects of social media. I learn so many things and I have always loved learning what makes others tick. Social media is a great way to meet new people. But when you’re a creative and you don’t feel like you have anything important to say but your current work-in-progress, it can get hard. Or when you don’t have time every single day.
But see, this is fear speaking. And I’ve battled fear my whole life. But more than fear, I’ve battled resistance, and I’m still not certain why. Fear of the blank page. Fear of having nothing to say. Fear of not being good enough? Who knows. I could go on and on.
Marianne Williamson says it best:
Our Deepest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
I’m a big fan of Ruth Soukup and her DoItScared brand. I took her test and it rated my biggest fear based on PESSIMISM. What? No way! I am not a pessimist at all. I’ve always been a believer of dreams and try to inspire others. And yet as I read, I noticed some tendencies that have really been hurting me lately. Her pessimist fear assessment says I’m afraid of adversity. I see hardships as a stopping stone, not a stepping stone, as if this hardship is there to stop me from going further. I haven’t always been that way but I see that in me now. And I can see it’s because I’ve battled a lot of disappointment in my life so now I struggle to see hopeful possibilities. “It probably won’t work out for me” isn’t something I’m proud to admit I tell myself even when I’m affirming positive qualities.
Wow, so I guess I am a pessimist after all here lately! Why bother writing this story, it isn’t going to sell. Why bother publishing this, marketing that. Goodness what a negative state I’ve been in without even realizing it. No wonder I’m against a block of resistance!
For me, I believe it’s a season I’m going through. My natural state isn’t pessimism, never has been, so I will push past it. What about you? What fear holds you back?
by Angela Smith | Mar 25, 2019 | Introspective
Er, I Mean, How to Reevaluate What You Truly Want out of Life
I have a confession to make. I haven’t been living my dream. I haven’t been selling thousands of copies of my books each week and driving a bright red Ferrari when I have no choice but to go to the grocery store for food.
Okay, the last part wasn’t part of my dream life, although never having to go to the store would be nice. In my dreams, someone would be going to the store for me.
But I digress.
I’ve been knee-deep in edits. Two of them. One is a Christmas story, which is a nice break from the romantic suspense I just received back from my editor.
A perfect time to vacuum the house. And clean all the dishes. Then go through all your cabinets, yet again, because they might need re-organized for the third time this year. And March isn’t even over.
Another digression. But absolutely true when it comes to writers and the ways they procrastinate.
My romantic suspense has kicked my butt. Wrung out many emotions in me and required a lot of work to get it to where I need it could be, had the potential to be. I’m not a fast writer. I blame it on having a full time emotionally jarring job, but plenty of other writers have hard jobs so I’m not alone. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just slower than some when it comes to my writing.
And while I’ve been editing these two novels, I’ve also been reevaluating my life and what I really want out of it. I’m pretty happy, save for the fact I am not a bestselling author. I’m an author, and I have published many books and I have many more in my head, but lately that hasn’t been good enough for me.
One morning, I woke up and realized I am being way too hard on myself. I’m putting way too much focus on my dream of writing and not near enough on the process and how far I’ve come.
I wondered what it would be like if I gave up writing. I haven’t had time to do other things I’d love to do, like sew, paint, restore an old hutch my husband bought. Repaint my office and finish a few remodeling projects. Seriously, I could go on, but when you work a full-time job and you write on the side with other responsibilities, those projects take a back burner.
And during this time, I’ve been reevaluating my life, I’ve come across a lot of posts about failure. The majority of the advice being DON’T GIVE UP.
Don’t give up on your dream.
As if giving up constitutes failure.
Failure is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve learned through my experiences that, even though things don’t always turn out as I had hoped, I have definitely not failed. If I stopped writing today, I have not failed.
Every step we make is an experience worth celebrating. Even if we do give up on one dream to try something else. Even if we take a break that lasts years.
I believe that if you have a dream, you should go for it. It’s an awesome feeling! But if you decide it isn’t what you really want, or you decide you’ve given it enough of your time and it’s time to give up or take a break, you aren’t failing.
During my off-times with these edits, when my work has been with my editors and I had nothing to do on those stories but to write a new one, I decided to take a break. Most writers say work on another story while you’re waiting.
I decided that’s the last thing I needed to do, and this is after I actually tried it and almost went into shock. That’s when I realized I needed a break. My current works-in-progress will still be published. And I’ll write again soon. But for now, I’m thinking of all the other things I’ve always wanted to try and put off doing.
That is how you give up on your dream. Reevaluate your life and your goals and figure out where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years or when you are 80. Where do you want to be when you are 80? If your dream isn’t moving you toward that goal, then it’s time to reevaluate.
If your dream points you toward that image but you aren’t making progressive steps forward, why not? Fear? Resistance? I’ve lived with those both myself. Sometimes enough to believe I really didn’t want that in the first place. Oh, the things we tell ourselves.
Next week, I plan to post more on fear and resistance. Thanks for stopping by!
by Angela Smith | Oct 7, 2017 | Introspective
A stalactite (hanging from the “ceiling”) and stalagmite (coming from the cave floor) almost touching at Carlsbad Caverns.
As an author, I love to write about adventure for my characters. I love to experience adventure myself, but only the kind with a safe outcome.
But how can we ever truly know when we’ll be safe?
For our vacation, I really wanted some adventure, but nothing too crazy. No spelunking or diving out of perfectly good airplanes, thank you very much. My husband and I love to hike, backpack, road-trip, and go off-roading in our Jeep (yes, that has its own danger). We love the outdoors, and I prefer my feet to be firmly planted on the earth. Outside. Where I can clearly see what’s going on. And definitely no crowds for me.
So when my husband suggested Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, I froze. Then I tried to list all the reasons we shouldn’t do that. Not when there are so many other good things to see and do.
I mean, I hate dark holes in the ground. 750 feet worth of dark holes, climbing down some cavern that we as a human race can’t really understand. How can we truly know it won’t crumble? Or those stalactites won’t decide to fall. They look fiercely piercing to me. And I really don’t like dark enclosed spaces at all. I don’t really even like elevators, most especially one carved inside a 75 foot story hole in the ground.
We’ll trek down the 75 switchback trail, experience the Big Room, and take the elevator ride back up.
This is where I almost panicked
Growing up in Central Texas, I’ve had my fair share of caverns. Family vacations, school field trips. Why would I want to see another cavern? I’ve actually already been to Carlsbad Caverns as a child with my family. Why go again? Did my husband not understand how traumatizing most of the caverns had been to my young soul? Tour guides turning out the light so you can see there and experience how truly dark it is down there? Barely able to breathe. No thanks. Been there, done that. Probably had a shirt at one time or another.
I wanted to be brave, but I’m not really. I almost had a panic attack on the third switchback, especially after the ranger who took our ticket very excitedly told us we’d be hiking down 75 of them. It’s one thing to be driving up a mountain on a switchback trail, which in hindsight is probably way more dangerous, but it’s another to be underground, the dark, where you can’t see. But it was lit very well, actually. No tour guides turned out the lights and no rocks fell on my head. I felt the fear and did it anyway, and it was an exhilarating experience. I almost turned around on the third switchback, and I most assuredly almost cried. But the further we hiked, the more comfortable I became. Even brave enough to walk ahead of my husband and stop holding his hand down the long trek (although that was nice, and any excuse to hold hands, right?)
And it was massive. Nothing like an underground hole at all. It is amazing beyond words, and the history of this cavern is amazing. The fact a 16 year old boy discovered it when he saw what he first thought was smoke and wondered where it could be coming from back in 1898, then discovered it was bats flying out of a cave that he would later explore. A 16 year old, born in Mason County, Texas, who moved to New Mexico. He built his own ladder from wire and wood and held the ladder in one hand and a kerosene lantern in the other. To find out more about James White, just Google his name. Or better yet, visit the cavern and learn from the history there.
This stalagmite is still growing and one of the largest in the world. I can’t remember the exact history now, unfortunately, but it was amazing. Pictures can’t do this justice.
Needless to say, I had an amazing time and I am glad this tiny but pervading fear did not ruin such a wonderful experience. Seeing it again now, after all these years, was amazing. And I would definitely go again.
Fear is such a funny thing, and different for everyone. Some people can jump out of a perfectly good airplane but scream at spiders. But fear is a true emotion that is wonderful to conquer.
Mind you, I won’t ever conquer the fear of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, but crawling down a hole and then rushing back in an elevator fixed into that massive hole 75 stories below ground now doesn’t seem so bad. And these experiences always make me a better writer as a carve adventures for my characters.
Do you have any fears that, on the outside, seem so silly but on the inside are actually huge and terrifying?
by Angela Smith | Apr 21, 2017 | Guests
Today I have the joy of interviewing the very lovely Lynn Crandall. Lynn Crandall started spinning stories as a child when she tried to entertain her younger sister at night when they were supposed to be going to sleep. In the dark, her stories typically took on a scary or paranormal element — didn’t do much to put her and her sister to sleep. Today, she hopes here stories still fail to put readers to sleep, but rather take them on a journey. That’s what she’s been on since she decided to make writing her focus. As a reporter and magazine feature writer, she truly enjoys learning as she works on stories. As a romance writer, she enjoys following an evolving story of her characters. She loves to tell stories about characters who don’t back down and use their challenges to grow.
What intrigues you about Dancing with Detective Danger?
Call it biased, but I love all of my books for a variety of reasons. What intrigues me about Dancing with Detective Danger is the relationship between the sisters, Sterling and Lacey. I wanted to explore being in family in different ways. The sisters are unique but they still support each other and allow for differences without judgement. So when heroine Sterling faces the return of a former lover, Detective Ben Kirby, and all the confusion surrounding their relationship, her sister is understanding but gives her a straight shot of truth when Sterling is ready for it.
When did you absolutely know that you had to be a writer?
Many times. I first had that aha moment years ago when everything about writing and my personality came together. I began pursuing a writing career, but often I had to face self-doubt. I would reexamine being a writer from different angles and always land on a solid spot that confirmed it was right for me to write. Over and over, and finding different layers of self-doubt. Even just a few months ago, I faced it again at a deeper level. I realized anew and more profoundly that my passion always brings me to greater understanding of myself and the place writing holds for me. I don’t have any doubts now, so I absolutely know I have to be a writer to live my life. Things like disappointment with sales and reviews come up, but hope is more outspoken in me these days.
What was your favorite part of writing Dancing with Detective Danger?
I’m an introvert, so I enjoy finding the inner motivations and experiences of characters via my self-reflection and becoming the character. The experience of being lost in life is not unique, but with Sterling, I found it meaningful to take apart a foundational wounding and illustrate how it plays in her present choices. My version of that can only be written by me, but the experience is universal.
What is your favorite aspect of reading a novel?
I love immersing into a story, feeling the characters’ journey, and learning things about myself and life from the story. That total experience is mesmerizing.
Are you a plotter, a pantser, or both?
I am a pantser and I embrace that aspect of me. It can be challenging because I don’t necessarily know what happens next, but I enjoy the organic movement of the story’s development. I trust that process even with the nerve-wracking moments of What now??!! I interviewed an expert on the pantser vs. plotter and just learning to become a plotter a while ago and she settled that dilemma for me. She said pantsers can change but probably only because they were a plotter in the making. True pantsers have brains wired that way.
Do you have a certain theme in all of your novels?
I think themes in all my books are pretty common to all stories. I like to explore ways of humans being in family, feeling different, and how love can embrace more of life than characters expect. Dancing with Detective Danger showcases how patterns people have prevent them from living their true lives and finding love.
Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
I think a great take-away from DWDD would be that no matter how much pain sits beneath our daily experiences we have control over our lives by facing the various truths waiting to be revealed.
If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only take one book with you, what would you take?
This question made me gasp. One Book! My brain just froze.
If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only take one song with you, what would you take?
I love this question! One of my favorite songs right now is Melanie Doane’s Chopin Ballad https://youtu.be/8Ks02_Er9hA. It is so calming and reassuring.
Are you working on any projects right now?
I’m working on a romantic suspense with paranormal elements. I’m planning it as the first book in a three-book series. It’s taking longer to complete than any other books I’ve written because I’m being very deliberate and trying to stretch my skills. It’s done, but I’m going through it right now rewriting and editing. The main characters are what I call Aeons, who are direct descendants of Atlantians. They possess abilities that equip them to help prevent the world from going all to Hell.
Do you see writing as a career?
Writing is a business, and I know that. It is amazing work but it is hard, also. But because it is such a strong passion for me, I’m willing to recognize that it’s work and put in the work. Yes, it is a career. It can have duration if I can sustain a combination of skill, luck, determination, and successful promotions, as well as drink tons of coffee.
Besides writing, what would be your career of choice?
I enjoy learning about symbolism, especially in art, so I would be interested in art history. However, I can’t imagine choosing any career other than writing.
Can you share a tip about what you do when you get stuck in your writing?
Another great question. I do get stuck. It can prompt anxiety. But I’ve learned that is a passing phase of getting stuck, so I don’t stay there. The thing that gets me unstuck is writing. I use clusters. http://www.gabrielerico.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=77 to help me get my thoughts moving without censor. They have been really helpful for me over and over.
Are you a pet person? If so, do you have any?
I am a very strong animal lover and advocate. I presently have one cat. Willow is a member of family. I have a T-shirt that conveys my sentiments about pets very well: I’m sorry. I can’t. I have plans with my cat.
What advice would you give to your younger self?
Oh my gosh. This question makes me want to have a sit-down with my younger self and reveal all of life’s secrets. LOL! I think I would tell young Lynn to believe in herself and not make others her inner authority. I could offer my/her gramma’s advice – Follow your heart. And I would assure her that everything will be okay.
How can readers discover more about you and you work?
Website: http://lynn-crandall.com/Blog: http://lynn-crandall.com/blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LynnCrandallAuthor/Twitter: https://twitter.com/lcrandallwriter
Instagram: Lcrandall246
Amazon: http://a.co/4f24tYhGoodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25692171-dancing-with-detective-danger?from_search=true
Thanks for stopping by and answering my questions, Lynn. We loved learning more about you and your stories!
Thank you very much, Angela, for interviewing me for your blog. Your questions were fun and made me think!
by Angela Smith | Jun 4, 2016 | Writing
My boss recently told me how impressed he was with my fiction writing. It made me nervous. I write romance novels! I don’t need my boss reading that!
Then I remembered that, although I am writing these novels about these characters, they are not me. It’s like being an actor. Jim Carrey is not a pet detective, Christian Bale, as much as we might like to think so, is not Bruce Wayne, and Matt Damon is not Jason Bourne and capable of killing. They are playing characters, and doing a damn fine job, and that’s what being a writer is all about.
Being a writer is like your character speaking through you. Like they have a story to tell, and they are using you as the vessel. Okay, that might be strange heebie jeebie stuff, and it isn’t as strange as it sounds, but believe me when I say it is my characters who tell the story, not me. My characters do go silent on me. They stop talking to me, and then I’m lost in my story, trying to find my way through a really confusing path. It isn’t fun.
As a matter of fact, the ones I’m writing now have done so. I’m trying so hard to tell the story they want me to tell, but I got stuck because I was trying to write things the way I wanted to write them, and not the way the character wanted me to. I think I’ve finally figured it out, but it’s still a really long process trying to weed through those, well, weeds.
So todays writing tip is to listen to your characters! Don’t let other voices get in the way of your voice. You have your own voice, and it usually comes through when you listen to your characters, because they are the ones to ultimately tell the story! If your writing is based on plotting more than character, then listen to the plot, because your plot is your character! And don’t be afraid to go all out. If others don’t approve, well, that’s their tough luck!
