Er, I Mean, How to Reevaluate What You Truly Want out of Life
I have a confession to make. I haven’t been living my dream. I haven’t been selling thousands of copies of my books each week and driving a bright red Ferrari when I have no choice but to go to the grocery store for food.
Okay, the last part wasn’t part of my dream life, although never having to go to the store would be nice. In my dreams, someone would be going to the store for me.
But I digress.
I’ve been knee-deep in edits. Two of them. One is a Christmas story, which is a nice break from the romantic suspense I just received back from my editor.
A perfect time to vacuum the house. And clean all the dishes. Then go through all your cabinets, yet again, because they might need re-organized for the third time this year. And March isn’t even over.
Another digression. But absolutely true when it comes to writers and the ways they procrastinate.
My romantic suspense has kicked my butt. Wrung out many emotions in me and required a lot of work to get it to where I need it could be, had the potential to be. I’m not a fast writer. I blame it on having a full time emotionally jarring job, but plenty of other writers have hard jobs so I’m not alone. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just slower than some when it comes to my writing.
And while I’ve been editing these two novels, I’ve also been reevaluating my life and what I really want out of it. I’m pretty happy, save for the fact I am not a bestselling author. I’m an author, and I have published many books and I have many more in my head, but lately that hasn’t been good enough for me.
One morning, I woke up and realized I am being way too hard on myself. I’m putting way too much focus on my dream of writing and not near enough on the process and how far I’ve come.
I wondered what it would be like if I gave up writing. I haven’t had time to do other things I’d love to do, like sew, paint, restore an old hutch my husband bought. Repaint my office and finish a few remodeling projects. Seriously, I could go on, but when you work a full-time job and you write on the side with other responsibilities, those projects take a back burner.
And during this time, I’ve been reevaluating my life, I’ve come across a lot of posts about failure. The majority of the advice being DON’T GIVE UP.
Don’t give up on your dream.
As if giving up constitutes failure.
Failure is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve learned through my experiences that, even though things don’t always turn out as I had hoped, I have definitely not failed. If I stopped writing today, I have not failed.
Every step we make is an experience worth celebrating. Even if we do give up on one dream to try something else. Even if we take a break that lasts years.
I believe that if you have a dream, you should go for it. It’s an awesome feeling! But if you decide it isn’t what you really want, or you decide you’ve given it enough of your time and it’s time to give up or take a break, you aren’t failing.
During my off-times with these edits, when my work has been with my editors and I had nothing to do on those stories but to write a new one, I decided to take a break. Most writers say work on another story while you’re waiting.
I decided that’s the last thing I needed to do, and this is after I actually tried it and almost went into shock. That’s when I realized I needed a break. My current works-in-progress will still be published. And I’ll write again soon. But for now, I’m thinking of all the other things I’ve always wanted to try and put off doing.
That is how you give up on your dream. Reevaluate your life and your goals and figure out where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years or when you are 80. Where do you want to be when you are 80? If your dream isn’t moving you toward that goal, then it’s time to reevaluate.
If your dream points you toward that image but you aren’t making progressive steps forward, why not? Fear? Resistance? I’ve lived with those both myself. Sometimes enough to believe I really didn’t want that in the first place. Oh, the things we tell ourselves.
Next week, I plan to post more on fear and resistance. Thanks for stopping by!