Relationships are all about trust. Trusting others and trusting yourself.
For some people, it isn’t easy to trust others. And it’s not because they themselves are untrustworthy. Sometimes they might be nothing but honest, even too honest, but maybe they’ve been scarred in life and relationships and have a hard time trusting others.
Maybe sometimes they don’t even trust themselves.
This happened to Reagan, in Burn on the Western Slope. She starts out a tad gullible, too vulnerable, but with a strong spirit and personality. She knows what she wants but has a hard time going after it. She’s built her life around being comfortable, pleasing her parents, finding her place in her job and in her life.
Then she meets Garret. Nothing about Garret is comfortable.
Trust requires a vulnerability not many of us are willing to experience.
Trust is so important in a relationship. My relationship started at a young age, where I had no idea what it was to truly trust. I already had abandonment issues because of my parents’ divorce and my mother’s way-too-early-death. That’s not something I blame them for or could control at the time. Looking back, I wasn’t always an easy wife to get along with (okay, that’s still true today!) Trust requires a vulnerability not many of us are willing to break … share … experience.
Trusting in others means having enough trust in ourselves to handle whatever might happen. And losing trust in someone … when Reagan discovers Garret’s deception, she has to learn a few things about herself before she is willing to forgive. And I believe that is something we all must face in our quest for strong, healthy and trustworthy relationships. It isn’t the only thing to strengthen a relationship, but it should be a top priority.
Sometimes trust means recognizing and appreciating those vulnerabilities in others.
Instead of succumbing to my abandonment issues and other such things, I decided to acknowledge them. The whys and wherefores of why I felt the way I did. Confronting your past and the circumstances that make you you is important to understand why you are the way you are and what you can do to change it. It also means recognizes and appreciating those vulnerabilities in others.
Because of my job in the District Attorney’s Office, I deal with trust issues a lot. Young children abused by someone they trusted the most. It’s heartbreaking. And although some of those kids might struggle with that for the rest of their lives, the strength I have seen them displayed as they take the stand to testify against those defendants is something I hope they will remember about themselves forever. Because no matter what they faced, they faced the worst type of distrust and was able to testify against it. They stood strong and had a bravado not many adults could face.
Do you have trust issues? Is there a particular thing that happened to you that caused it and if so, what can you do about it? How can you use those circumstances to make yourself, and your relationship, stronger?